So I had a very desperate dinner the other night, and found it necessary to write this ode:


An Ode To Peanut Butter

Oh peanut butter how I adore you—
You who requires no refrigeration
You who has a shelf life of two years.
I first loved you in kindergarten; I still love you at 22.

Nectar of the Gods, you versatile condiment,
Topping fruit, bread and various porridges.
Overwhelming even the most odiferous foods
And making edible the most bland.
A true game-changer for the cornstarch pudding that tastes like plastic.

I eat you with my fingers out of the jar,
Sometimes with a spoon.
You provide me with protein and supply “the good fat”--
I don’t have to run you off.

Peanut butter, you are my dear companion on trips
And occupy a permanent space in my kitchen.
Thanks to your handy container I fear neither:
Ants
Botulism
Or finding you squished at the bottom of my backpack in 2 weeks.

Smooth versus chunky is always the question,
But here in the Dominican Republic I welcome you both.
Available at most major grocery stores for a 86 pesos ($2.40),
Country Barn peanut butter, I will buy you every week!